question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
