So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
