We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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