The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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