omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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