i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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