is wine microwaveable?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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