i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
do herpes really smell.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
