i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize