so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
