How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
