At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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