were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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