we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
