A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
