if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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