Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
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The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
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Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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