hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
