Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
only you would photoshop your dick
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
