So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize