Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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