On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
