Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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