What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
