i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
