Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
