I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
