i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
