i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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