i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize