I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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