just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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