you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
