Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
