just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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