can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
