felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize