He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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