He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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