It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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