He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
