i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
