You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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