Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize