i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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