Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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