i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
