Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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