I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
