I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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