So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
