I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
