do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
