I don't think brook has ever known best
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
