In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
