If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
