3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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