The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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