dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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