We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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