Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
