im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
