so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
