im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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