Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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