I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
